Europeans…
… are these guys cooler than us? There is a trend developing that everyone thinks Europeans are better than Americans. I understand that the Euro actually has value, they have ”free healthcare”, the get to take naps every day, they get to wear capris, and Eric Levine doesn’t live there. I still think we are better.
First, David Hasselhoff is popular in Europe. I think I read that that guy was like #1 on the European charts for a while. No matter how shitty Americans can be, at least we all know that that guy sucks bad.
Second, Melissa knows this European guy, and he eats sandwiches for breakfast, lunch and dinner – and claims that that is normal in Europe. I like a good sandbo as much as the next guy, but that’s kind of wierd, isn’t it?
Third, from what I can tell, there arn’t very many skyscrapers in Europe.
Fourth, all good movies are made in America. I haven’t actually seen any foreign films, but it seems like they suck.
Fifth, I read in a history textbook once that one of the reasons we were successful in the Revolutionary war is that Americans are actually significantly bigger/more powerful than English people. I think we all respect the fact that power=cool? Greenberg?
Sixth, I believe www.beasttube.com was created in America.
I am a pretty generic American guy, and I am pretty sure that I am quite a bit sweeter than a generic piece of European trash.
Corey – feel free to make your post right on top of mine b/c I don’t know if this one is really going anywhere.
Thursday, March 27 at 8:29 am
From my experience yes they are considerably better than us. Not us as in our group of friends we are really fucking sweet, but I think you need to realize that college educated frat guys from Seattle are not the average american. The average American is a lot closer to this guy.
http://www.radiomex610atlanta.com/images/otrorollo/images/RedNeck.jpg
Thursday, March 27 at 12:24 pm
So basically we have The Hoseman vs Mauricio.
Hoseman (pictured above)
-born in the US of A
-pukes on self
-scares all sorority girls
-runs a gun shop
-I assume he hates liberals
-Sparko loves him
Mauricio
-European, well at least closest thing the frat had to it
-poops self
-wears euro clothes
-is very liberal ~ with the amount he poops on himself
-Sparko is probably sceptical of him
Edge: Hoseman
Thursday, March 27 at 2:04 pm
I think we would have ended up a lot more like Europe if we would have broken up into smaller countries. Like if the South had won you would have several countries now:
- South would have become independent and kept slavery for a couple decades until the blacks revolted and took over and declared it the Confederate States of Africa. Their official language would have a terrible drawl and ebonics.
- New England would be uptight Yankees. They would still spell with ‘u’ in colour and favourite and speak with an English accent, use words like bloody and mate.
- Midwest would be basically a bunch of Canadiens.
- The SouthWest would turn into a country like Spain. Speak spanish, take ciestas, basically lay around in their nice weather.
- Northwest would be a territory owned and operated by Bill Gates, until he turned it into a not-for-profit charity.
I dont know where I was going with that, but I think Europe is interesting in that they are small geographically yet keep all their boundaries and languages seperate… I would be all for breaking off the greater US, whatever seperates us further from the bible belt sounds good to me.
Thursday, March 27 at 4:57 pm
The south would be skrewed. They don’t pay any taxes (any income earned there is illegal) and they get all of the benefits.
Thursday, March 27 at 7:51 pm
I think one more point for the US folk is that we are generally heavier than our fit European counterparts. Normally this is in fact a disadvantage, but as was recently discovered — weight = value. Point America!
Friday, March 28 at 8:12 am
A few other quick points of why Europe is better:
Europeans works less (30 hrs work week)
Europe for the most part has socialized medicine and you all know how queer I am on that.
European women have accents and therefore are hotter
Eurail
Oprah is not from Europe
Amsterdam
Friday, March 28 at 10:46 am
Have European women started shaving yet?
Thursday, January 8 at 4:43 am
Euro women – dont shave, they are hairy everywhere, anytime
Euro men are ugly, 99% are.
Euro people buy expensive food, everything is expensive, you cant buy all you want.
Euro work less but they dont have more money
Euro people 80% are quite old, 60years+ and above
Euro people dont make sex often
Euro people dont drive cadilac or dodge, they drive small childish cars
Euro people are fat and short
Euro dont have Ophra, they dont have any start at all
Euro dont have own music, films, pornstars – they have crap museum and gallery
Euro people are not FREE, and americans are FREE
Thursday, April 30 at 10:25 am
Europe really sucks!
Did u know they don’t have supermarkets open 24 hours?, they are so lazyy, u can not imagine!. Food sucks, I prefer america, I can eat everything i want at every time!. European girls are not hot, except for swedish girls.
Europe is so boring, the only thing u have to do is sleep, go to museums…. everything is similar, every street seems to be the same, everybody drives a mini car………..they don’t really know what’s live enjoying.
Tuesday, May 12 at 7:42 am
Both Q and Ho seem like well traveled educated individuals. Such brilliant comments as
“I prefer america, I can eat everything i want at every time!.”
“Euro people buy expensive food, everything is expensive, you cant buy all you want.”
Actually just read the whole fucking thing