My Encounter With Homosexuality in Chicago

I had an interesting experience at training last week in Chicago.

I flew in on Monday night, and my firm had a reception waiting for us with an open bar. Pretty cool – but this is where I think I may have made my initial mistake. I challenged my coleagues to a competition to see who could finish the most gin & tonics before the open bar closed. In hindsight, it might have been wiser to choose a drink that cast me as a little less queer.

As the night progressed and I socialized with everyone, a particular dude that I will call Thomas befriended my group and me. My initial size-up of this Thomas character was that he was a complete fag. Not in the sense that he liked guys, but more in a Clint Russell kind of way where the guy just ruins everybody elses time becuase he is so annoying.

As it turns out, my initial size-up was innaccurate - Thomas does like guys. In particular, this one. After a night-long relentless barrage of Thomas flirting with me, he finally got to the point and flat out asked me if I wanted to hook-up. It went something like this -

Thomas: “Hey BigDog – you sure pounded a lot of Gin & Tonics tonight. That was awesome!” Thomas then steals my work nametag.

BigDog: “Thomas, give me my nametag back”

Thomas: “I’ll give it to you tomorrow if you have a couple shots of tequilla with me! Yeah!”

BigDog: …..

Thomas: “hook-up?”

BigDog: “huh?”

Thomas: “hook-up?”

BigDog: “No.”

Thomas: awkward silence……….. “I mean, do you want to go hook-up with those chicks?”