see you in hell Mexico!
begin rant:
Im taking off for a couple weeks, but I just wanted to say that another year comes to pass where I have managed to avoid the siren call of Mexico. Pretty much anything can happen from here on out and I will consider 2008 to be a greeeeat success. At the risk of sounding like an arrogant vacationing asshole, I say, Mexico is a stupid place to go. Can everyone please stop trying to get me to go there… oh and while im at it you too Vegas. full disclosure: ive never been.
Ive been avoiding Mexico since my senior year in high school, when all the hot chicks got the trip as a graduation gift from the travel groups and then convinced everyone else to go to. For whatever reason I didnt, and instead drove to the mysterious and beatiful land of Canada in a camper me and 8 friends bought.
Seriously though, Mexico is like Mordor and everyone is in possession of the One Ring, heeding its dark call. (and yes, that does make Sammy Hagar the dark lord, Sauron). Now I am sure it is a great time and a real relaxing place, but Im also sure that I will enjoy it quite a bit during my inevitable timeshare ownership i’ll somehow obtain. Probably it will come in lieu of my social security payout, or however else everyone gets those things. Look, im not sure how it works, I just know everyone in the US gets one sooner or later.
So I ask the gods to look upon me favorably and allow me to put off Mexico until im 50 and bored as hell with my life and lost all interest in the culture and sights that the other 193 countries of the world have to offer, i’ll beg for forgiveness and ask for nothing more than to be wisked away to margarittaville.
Sorry about all that, but it keeps coming up in conversation and I needed to vent. I take my rediculously low 12 paid days of vacation serioiusly. I feel the need to go “backpacking off the beaten path” to overpriced far-off destinations to “find myself”. OK? Its the only way I have found that I can justify working for the man like I do… ahhh capitalism/consumerism, you are a harsh mistress.
/rant
Tuesday, July 15 at 6:23 am
Mexico will always hold a special place in my heart. My Mazatlan senior trip was pretty badass. You have missed the window of opportunity there though. I believe it really only offers something to those between the age of 18 and 20. That window may open again after retirement.
In addition – your 12 days vacation a year is a crime.
Tuesday, July 15 at 3:27 pm
Mexico is cool, I just think the places people go to in Mexico are pretty gay. I think if you got off the beaten path there are some amazing things to be seen. Though I did have a very good time in Cancun a few years back. There was a some very cool Mayan ruins, tropical rain forests, dolphins, and other stuff like that I enjoyed.
Oh and I think you know what economic philosophy to thank for those 12 days of vacation. Thanks again Capitalism for raping the fun right out of life all in the name of effeciency….
Wednesday, July 16 at 10:04 am
I am in complete agreement with Cojo. Saying Mexico is shitty based on the 4 places that young beautiful moneyed Americans visit to get shitfaced is like saying the U.S. is an awful country because it is home to L.A. Everything’s got an asshole, right? Mexico is the birthplace of tacos, tequila and oversized hats. The modern “discovery” of psilocybin-containing mushrooms took place in that great land. And, most importantly, it is where yours truly will spend the next year risking his life in search of raw life story material to mold into posts for hoboboobies(hypothetically, that is, posts probably will not be written).
i also agree with Kevin that the resort towns of Mexico are veritably heaven on earth for 18-19 year old dudes. My senior trip to Cabo was the greatest week of my life. It was filled with drinking (mostly vomitting) fucking chicks (two HJs!) and smoking weed in the back of a car filled with no less than 7 Mexican strangers (fulfilling racial stereotypes).
Wednesday, July 16 at 10:34 am
I am only talking about the Americanized tourist destinations.
I left it out of my rant because it conflicts, but I really want to go to Mexico City some day.
Wednesday, July 16 at 11:11 am
The home of importer/exporter Mauricio? I don’t see how it couldn’t be wonderful.
Wednesday, July 16 at 3:45 pm
Please explain your* motorcylce adventure around mexico in a little more detail if you can ever work it into your busy farming schedule.
*our- if you buy a sidecar
Thursday, July 17 at 8:44 am
Really though, when did we all become to cool for obsene amounts of alcohol/drugs/hot chicks/awesome weather/Mexico beaches?
To me, a trip to Cancoon is similar to going to Hawaii, but with the added incentive of being less expensive and getting to barter with the locals over fake oakleys, henna tattoos, and hemp necklaces. You may also land prizes such as a beautiful hammock, or a Mexican blanket that can be converted into a sweet Poncho.
Also, if you get assult charges all you have to do is pay off the federales, instead of forfeiting a year of your life on house arrest.
The more I think about it, the more I think Mexico is still awesome. In Mazatlan, the main method of transportation is golfcarts with fancy rims, huge sound systems that play DMX and will take you anywhere for like 2 dollars. Much cooler than a conventional taxi.
Thursday, July 17 at 10:33 am
I still have my hammock from Mazatlan somewhere. Never been used, but when you spent 2 hrs bartering someone from 100 dollars to $6.50 the fact you have no use for a hammock really isn’t that relevant.
Now that I think about it again I agree Mexico is totally awesome. In fact so awesome I might be taking out my old frat gear (aka current work gear) and making a little apperance at Spring Break 2009!!! I was huge fag on my senior trip and had a girlfriend, in 2009 at the youthful age of 26 I wont be making the same mistake. God I am going to fingerbang so many chicks!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, July 17 at 1:07 pm
We should all sign up to be the senior trip counselors for a summer down there. That is the dream gig.
Thursday, July 17 at 1:36 pm
Elder and I looked into that in college but at the time I didnt have my CPR certificate and then we forgot. I am certainly in though!!! Is the new Mrs. going to be real keen on you heading off to Mazatlan with me?