Archive for Beasttube

Literary Thought Of The Week

Posted in CoJo with tags , , , , on Monday, April 28 by Cojo

My literary thought this week comes from the book “The Experience of Insight”. It is a really cool book of short 3 to 5 page summarizations of each day of a 30 day meditation retreat lead by Joseph Goldstein. The quote that I am posting is on the third to last page of the book and is giving advice on how to apply meditation or the dharma to the peoples’ lives as they head back into the “real” world.

“The third recollection is that of humility, or invisibility. There is no need to take your stance in the world as Mr. or Mrs. Spiritual, as someone special. As Chuang Tzu wrote:

The man in whom Tao
Acts without impediment
Harms no other being
By his actions
Yet he does not know himself
To be “kind”, to be “gentle.”

The man in whom Tao
Acts without impediment
Does not bother with his own interests
And does not despise
Other who do.

He does not struggle to make money
And does not make a virtue of poverty.
He goes his way
Without relying on others
And does not pride himself
On walking alone.
While he does not follow the crowd
He won’t complain of those who do.
Rank and reward
Make no appeal to him;
Disgrace and shame
Do not deter him.
He is not always looking
For right and wrong
Always deciding “Yes” or “No.”
The ancients said, therefore:
“The man of Tao
Remains unknown
Perfect virtue
Produces nothing
‘No-self’
Is ‘True-Self.’
And the greatest man
Is nobody.”

When I read that it really made a lot of sense to me. The part about money and going your own way made me take a good look at some of my own choices. So often struggle or adversity is glamorized to a point where it can become just as narcassistic as greed or vanity. After I read it I sat back and thought about the actual root of some of the values and opinions I hold. The verdict is still out on almost all of them.

The other thing it made me think about is how self gradifying religous or spirituality can be. It seems like if you are not careful religion (which seems inherintly good) can quickly turn into one big ego trip. Just you getting yourself off with what a great person you are. It seems that being a truly good person is when you stop looking at things in terms of “good” and “bad” and start seeing things as just what they are and are able to accept and be compassionate with the reality of life.

How much is your Saturday worth?

Posted in Big Dog with tags , , on Friday, April 25 by Big Dog

I realized today that my finace’s friend’s kid is having a birthday party, and somehow I unintentionally already agreed to attend tomorrow afternoon. Now I am faced with the unfortunate situation of either a. backing out and starting some sort of arguement, or b. donating my entire saturday afternoon to this kid’s birthday party.

It got me thinking – what dollar value do you place on a Saturday? How much money would you pay to have a sunny day like tomorrow to do whatever you wanted with? Maybe go to the Husky Spring game, or the freemont troll stroll, or just play rockband and BBQ all day?

I think the cash value of tomorrow is at least 200 bucks. There are probably only 10 -15 nice Saturday’s in the entire year in Seattle – I don’t want to be committed to anything on any of them. I certainly would pay 200 bucks to not go to this birthday party tomorrow.

This kid is getting a $30 present, a $200 Saturday, and probably at least $20 bucks in gas b/c it’s in Tacoma. Happy Birthday.

 

A little fuck up at work

Posted in CoJo with tags , , , , , on Thursday, April 24 by Cojo

As many of you know when I am not attempting to figure out/bitching about my meaningless life on this planet I work as a land development consultant and Realtor. Well last night after a pretty shitty day at work I made a very large yet comical fuck up that I thought I should share with you.

Right now i am working with a Realtor in rural Eastern Oregon on a referral for a piece of property a client of mine owns (that client also happens to be my grandma). What this means is that I give them my client’s listing and they agree to pay me 25% of the commission for doing nothing. Not a bad deal. In an attempt to do my client a service I prescreened my pick by sending out an email to all the local realtors (about 6) within 75 miles of the property. In the email I just asked them what they would do for marketing and what rate they would charge my client. Pretty basic. Well as the search went along I found one lady who seemed to do the most rural listings. There was a concern that she was unethical, but in rural markets I assumed that was probably a good thing. Well somewhere along the way she became offended that I had asked other realtors about the listing. This is her email to me.

“Hi Corey,
Yes, your new to the Real Estate Field does show thru so I will accept this knowing you are new and do not know how to Professionally approach this situation. I was very offended to think you would try to pit two Seasoned Principal Brokers for a listing, we have lots of listing and clients so we are not in the Big City arena for clients. We both treat our clients as family and enjoy working with them as individuals.
As for a referral we can do out of State referrals but I do need your Principal Broker to give me a quick E-Mail letting me know if he is licensed in Oregon or if the State of Washington allows by Real Estate Law for a non-Oregon Licensed Real Estate Office to accept referrals from Oregon. I do 20% Referral Fee to listing side at closing.
I like your Grand Parents very much and consider them a Friend, I will get back with your Grandmother when your Principal Broker sends me this information.
Sounds like you are trying to do a good job just don’t offend or step on other Realtors as you try to go up the ladder. Success comes to those who are honest, truthful, and sincerely enjoy the work not just for the $$ involved, “Be Human and treat others as you wish to be treated”.
Sincerely
Ilena”

I have to admit this email greatly annoyed me. It annoyed me so much that I wrote this email to send to my grandma/client.

“If you want my honest opinion she is small town realtor with a very small town mind, and to be honest she is a patronising idiot. I think she will do a decent job as your realtor, but treating someone who I would wager is considerably more intelligent and considerably more professional than her like a child is not getting her anywhere in my book. The messages I sent her were exactly what an actual REAL ESTATE PROFESSIONAL would send. I will get my broker to email her and you guys can move forward.

Thanks,

Corey”

In my haste to leave work and due to the fact I am possibly retarded instead of typing my grandma’s email address in I had pushed reply and sent this little gem right back to Ilena. I instantly realized this and in an attempt to save some face issued this response

” Wow! How about that message. To be honest I really didn’t really mean to send that to you. I will just leave it at that.”

Needless to say I am now looking for a new Realtor in Eastern Oregon.

- On another note Unity, OR the town my grandma has some land in seems almost perfect for a small town take over. About 50 people live in the town (was 100 but 2 biggest companies closed down, logging company and forest service). It is located on a decent sized highway. It right next to cool lake and river. The best part is that the forrest service has a giant complex for sale for really cheap we could all move into and actually start a resort out of. Look into it.

Atlas Shrugged

Posted in Big Dog with tags , , , , , , , , , on Saturday, April 19 by Big Dog

I’ve spent the last 5 months reading this son of a bitch and have finally conquered it. The dedication required to read this is similar to the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy combined so I do not recommend it if you are a pussy.

The book is half philosophy thesis about how faggy liberals are ruining the world, a quarter mystery novel, and a quarter pornography. So at least 25% of it you should enjoy.

Just given that the book is kind of old, really big, written by a woman, and has a weird cover, I expected that it was going to be incredibly boring and shitty. I still think that is the proper assumption to make given all of those circumstances, but this book rules.

I have never read a book like it. It is an exciting mystery novel, it is science fiction, it has heroes and villains and good vs. evil. At the same time it is philosophy and defines a compelling moral code for all of us to live by.  If it had some traditional fantasy novel characters in it, I would probably proclaim it the best book ever written right now.

Here is a typical exceprt that I enjoyed:

“Rearden heard Bertram Scudder, outside the group, say to a girl who made some sound of indignation, “Don’t let him disturb you. You know, money is the root of all evil – and he’s the typical product of money.”

      Rearden did not think that Francisco could have heard it, but he saw Francisco turning to them with a gravely courteous smile.

      ”So you think that money is the root of all evil?” said Francisco d’Aconia. “Have you ever asked what is the root of money? Money is a tool of exchange, which can’t exist unless there are goods produced and men able to produce them. Money is the material shape of the principle that men who wish to deal with one another must deal by trade and give value for value. Money is not the tool of the moochers, who claim your product by tears, or of the looters, who take it from you by force. Money is made possible only by the men who produce. Is this what you consider evil?

      ”When you accept money in payment for your effort, you do so only on the conviction that you will exchange it for the product of the effort of others. It is not the moochers or the looters who give value to money. Not an ocean of tears nor all the guns in the world can transform those pieces of paper in your wallet into the bread you will need to survive tomorrow. Those pieces of paper, which should have been gold, are a token of honor – your claim upon the energy of the men who produce. Your wallet is your statement of hope that somewhere in the world around you there are men who will not default on that moral principle which is the root of money. Is this what you consider evil?

      ”Have you ever looked for the root of production? Take a look at an electric generator and dare tell yourself that it was created by the muscular effort of unthinking brutes. Try to grow a seed of wheat without the knowledge left to you by men who had to discover it for the first time. Try to obtain your food by means of nothing but physical motions – and you’ll learn that man’s mind is the root of all the goods produced and of all the wealth that has ever existed on earth.

      ”But you say that money is made by the strong at the expense of the weak? What strength do you mean? It is not the strength of guns or muscles. Wealth is the product of man’s capacity to think. Then is money made by the man who invents a motor at the expense of those who did not invent it? Is money made by the intelligent at the expense of the fools? By the able at the expense of the incompetent? By the ambitious at the expense of the lazy? Money is made – before it can be looted or mooched – made by the effort of every honest man, each to the extent of his ability. An honest man is one who knows that he can’t consume more than he has produced.

      ”To trade by means of money is the code of the men of good will. Money rests on the axiom that every man is the owner of his mind and his effort. Money allows no power to prescribe the value of your effort except by the voluntary choice of the man who is willing to trade you his effort in return. Money permits you to obtain for your goods and your labor that which they are worth to the men who buy them, but no more. Money permits no deals except those to mutual benefit by the unforced judgment of the traders. Money demands of you the recognition that men must work for their own benefit, not for their own injury, for their gain, not their loss – the recognition that they are not beasts of burden, born to carry the weight of your misery – that you must offer them values, not wounds – that the common bond among men is not the exchange of suffering, but the exchange of goods. Money demands that you sell, not your weakness to men’s stupidity, but your talent to their reason; it demands that you buy, not the shoddiest they offer, but the best your money can find. And when men live by trade – with reason, not force, as their final arbiter – it is the best product that wins, the best performance, then man of best judgment and highest ability – and the degree of a man’s productiveness is the degree of his reward. This is the code of existence whose tool and symbol is money. Is this what you consider evil?  

      ”When you have made evil the means of survival, do not expect men to remain good. Do not expect them to stay moral and lose their lives for the purpose of becoming the fodder of the immoral. Do not expect them to produce, when production is punished and looting rewarded. Do not ask, ‘Who is destroying the world?’ You are.  

      ”Until and unless you discover that money is the root of all good, you ask for your own destruction. When money ceases to be the tool by which men deal with one another, then men become the tools of men. Blood, whips and guns – or dollars. Take your choice – there is no other – and your time is running out.”

 

10 Things That Don’t Make Sense To Me (#1)

Posted in CoJo with tags , , , , , , , , on Friday, April 18 by Cojo

The other day I was thinking about how many things in this crazy world make no sense to me what so ever. Could it be that the world is just a completely irrational place? Or am I just not getting it? This thought got me thinking that maybe I should try and figure out some answers to these questions. So in an effort to start discussion and possible work towards some answers I am going to start yet another on going segment. All I am going to do is just pose a question that has been perplexing me and hopefully that will then insight a spirited debate on the matter. I am going to try not to state my opinion too strongly and leave the question open ended for response. I really would enjoy hearing everyone’s thoughts.

#1- Nationalism? My question is why do people subscribe to such a seemingly outdated and idiotic notion? Why are you proud to be an American or Italian or German? What the fuck does that even mean? Why are people willing to hate and kill people just because they live across an arbitrary line on map? Why do we support US efforts, yet not give a shit that the African people are dying by the millions? It all just seems like governments (defined by me as: the small minority of ultra wealthy and their interests) are just mind fucking people into buying into false propaganda and “Nationalism” to allow them further advocated THEIR causes. If people didn’t buy into Nationalism and actually related to other people just as other human beings, the government would lose its greatest political tools “the fear of OUR interests being some how hurt”. Not to start sounding all queer, but aren’t we all just people on this planet. Don’t people in China, Russia, and Kenya deserve the exact same chance at life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? Nationalism fundamentally doesn’t make sense to me….

Brain Scientist Suffers a Stroke

Posted in CoJo with tags , , , , , , on Wednesday, April 16 by Cojo

I really enjoyed the clip in the link below. It is a 15 minute video about a Brain Scientist and her account of having a stroke. I got the video from my Meditation Mentor (who is a 75 year old lady who I am pretty positive was/more than likely still is very into psychedelic drugs.)

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/03/13/when-a-brain-scientist-suffers-a-stroke/

Literary Thought of the Week (part 3)

Posted in CoJo with tags , , , , , , , on Wednesday, April 2 by Cojo

Everyone’s favorite literary discussion has returned. Right now I am reading 2 books so why not put up a thought from each of them. You may comment on whatever one you find most interesting (or neither if you so decide).

1) This comes from Tom Robbins’ (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Robbins) [Parker can you make this a normal link, for some reason I am too retarded to figure out how to do that] “Another Roadside Attraction”. I’ve said this before and I am sure I will say it again, but Tom Robbins is a fucking incredible author.

The scene is pretty simple John Paul Ziller (drummer/magician) is asking his wife Amanda (hot chick/mushroom aficionado) about her thoughts on religious schooling:

“My impression is this: There is an insect called the hunting wasp. The female hunts for spiders and other insects and preys on them in an unusual way. She stings them in the large nerve ganglion on the underside of the thorax so that they are not killed but only paralyzed. She then lays an egg on the paralyzed victim (or within it’s body) and seals the prey up in a nest. When the egg hatches, the wasp larva commenses to eat the prey, slowly, gradually, in a highly systemized way. The nonvital tissues and organs are eaten first, so that the paralyzed creature remains alive for a good many days. Eventually, of course, its guest eats away so much of it that it dies. During the whole long process of consumption, the prey cannot move, cry out or resist in any way.”

“Now, suppose we view the Church as the hunting wasp, it’s stinger being represented by the nuns and priests who teach in the schools. And let us view the pupils as the paralyzed prey. The egg that is injected into them is the dogma, which in time must hatch into the larva-personal philosophy or religious attitude. This larva, as that of the wasp eats away from within, slowly and in a specialized manner, until the victim in destroyed. That is my impression of parochial education.”

2) The second thought comes from “The Universe in a single Atom” by His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama. This is a pretty cool book that shows the convergence of current scientific theory and Buddhist philosophy. Before I go into the quote I wanted to point out that the Dalai Lama is going to be in Seattle for 5 days, April 11-15. I am actually pretty excited I got free tickets to 2 of his events (one of them is about the convergence of modern science and Buddhism, something I find fascinating). If you want to find out more here is the site (http://www.seedsofcompassion.org/)

You don’t really need any set up for this one. This Dalai Lama (the 14th) is really into hard science and it’s applications for making this world a better place. This quote comes at the end of a chapter where he goes over evolution and its application for the world.

“If twentieth-century history — with its widespread belief in social Darwinism and the many terrible effects of trying to apply eugenics that resulted from it — has anything to teach us, it is that we humans have a dangerous tendency to turn the visions we construct of ourselves into self-fulfilling prophecies. The idea of the “survival of the fittest” has been misused to condone, and in some cases to justify, excesses of human greed and individualism and to ignore ethical models for relating to our fellow human beings in a more compassionate spirit. Thus, irrespective of our conceptions of science, given that science today occupies such an important seat of authority in human society, it is extremely important for those in the professions to be aware of the their power and to appreciate their responsibility. Science must act as its own corrective to popular misconceptions and misappropriations of ideas that could have disastrous implications for the world and humanity at large.”

New Work Strategy

Posted in CoJo with tags , , , , , , on Saturday, March 29 by Cojo

Three days ago I committed to a new “work strategy”. The strategy is basically this: While I am at my desk I am going to work and when I am done with my day’s worth of work I am going do something else. So instead of doing 6 hrs of work in 8 hrs I am going do it in 6 hrs and get the fuck out of there. This may sound like I am being lazy. Yet, I sure that every single person can look at what you did at work today and find a way to do all of it and probably considerably more in 75% of the time. Here are the time saving strategies I have implemented so far for myself:

1) Stop wasting time surfing the web all day. I notice that I mindlessly check Espn.com, Myspace, BeastTube.com, hotdogandfriends.com, hoboboobies.wordpress.com, and several other sites over and over through out the day. Now I am not saying I am giving up filling my brain with useless information, I am just going to check them once in the morning before I start working and once at the end of the day before I leave. The actual time spent checking these sites is substantial, yet the biggest efficiency gained is in regard to the reduction of mental downtime going between working, surfing the web, and getting back work. Even if I only look at the site for 30 seconds there is a 2 to 3 minute mental funk before I actually get back into work mode.

2) Email- Only check my email 4 times a day (First thing, before lunch, 2 pm, and 4:30 pm). Also when I check my email respond to all of the emails I am going to respond to. Same efficiency theory here. Email is a really important part of my job, but it is also the main inefficiency in my work day. I will be working on something important then I will get an email and drop my task. Then I will send off my email and mentally wonder off for a while. Then I get back to my task and I work for a few minutes till I get another email and drop my task again. In the end I have spent 2 hrs doing a 30 minute tasks and answering 30 minutes of emails.

3) Organize a List of Tasks- Before I start my day I am going to lay out every task I want to get done for the day. Then I am going to number them and start at the top of the list and complete each task before moving on. This will make sure I don’t waste time on less important tasks just because they are easier or less boring. This will assure I actually do the difficult or boring tasks. This plan will also layout everything I want to get done for the day and be a good barometer of when my work day is complete.

4) Knowing that I don’t have to be at work (most important one) – This is an option that unfortunately most people do not have at work. The beauty of being my own boss and a private contractor is that I get paid for what I do not the time I spend doing it. Forcing people to be at work a set amount of time is one of the great inefficiencies in our current cooperate system (see my last post about why 30 hr work days). Yet that social conditioning is really hard to escape. So often in the past I have always stayed at work until 6:00 pm everyday because I felt like I should. I felt like I was being lazy if I left early. Yet in reality the realization that I don’t have to be here seems to me to be an incredible catalyst to actual productivity. The reason most people aren’t very efficient is because it doesn’t matter how much they get done they still have to be at the office X amount of hours. Is there any wonder why people spend 2 hrs a day looking at their fantasy baseball team?
- So far so good. I honestly feel like I have had 3 of my most productive days of 2008 since implementing the strategy. Also I have put about 5 hrs of time into things I actually care about. Instead of just wasting my newly created free time I am going to try and focus it on coming up with a future for myself (and possibly others* who are brave/foolish enough to take the plunge out of the convention along me.) I will keep you updated with the progress.

My favorite idea so far: Start an eco-lodge on the beach in Panama with a bunch of my close friends. I think the idea would work if we don’t go into it with the plan of making money, just to live and enjoy life as much as possible. I will present all the logistics and details when I finish business plan.

*as long as you aren’t stupid or annoying

Work Revolution

Posted in Big Dog with tags , , , , , , , on Tuesday, March 25 by Big Dog

Everybody knows that we need to start our own business or else our lives or going to suck. So WTF are we going to do? Lets brainstorm brothers.

Clearly the ultimate goal is to build a bullet train after we raise enough money. The genius of the bullet train business is that you get to choose where it stops if you build it. We should buy a shit load of land somewhere cheep, and then add a stop there and instantly quadruple the value of our property. In the meantime, here are my best ideas:

First – I have noticed that people place a lot of value in things that are heavy. If you are at the Bon Marche and are looking for a toaster oven, you are clearly going to apply the weight test. If one weighs about 3 times as much, there is an assumed inherent quality in that product. So why don’t we just start copying products already on the market, but inject some lead or something into it? Boom – our product is better.

Second – a bar where you can purchase an entire keg. The idea being that if we all go to the bar, we can just throw 150 bucks down as a group, and have an entire keg of PBR, which we could either drink all ourselves, or distribute to the chickies.

 Third – Selling a deal that combines the technology of the Iphone and facebook, where the Iphone uses its GPS technology to track everywhere you go, and superimposes a line on a map showing everywhere you have ever been. I’ve always thought it would be cool if you could somehow see a visual map of everywhere you have ever been since you were born. The line tracking your route of life could change from blue (day 1) to red (present time) in color, so that your route is also a timeline. Then, you could load up your map on the software we are going to make, and it will be a conduit to blogging. So when you look at your personal map, you can put a dot on the line for events that took place, and when you click on it you can post pictures/blog about what happened then and there. Then, everybody could upload these on to facebook, and have them all linked. So there would be like sponsored events, where a bunch of people would probably have one of these “dots” on their timeline. For instance, if you were at a certain bar on Friday night,a lot of other people would be there too. So when you click on the dot a few days later, you could see who all else was there, pictures they posted, blogs they wrote about it, and then could connect with people there. Maybe you saw some hot chick that you didn’t get a chance to talk to, but now you see her a few days later on this sweet new technology I’m inventing? Clearly the toughest part is some people might be uncomfortable with posting exactly where they have been and when to the public. Well, you could easily add a feature to the software so that you could block out chuncks of time from your timeline to not show to the public. Problem solved.

Fourth – our idea about taking over a small resort town somewhere. This deserves it’s own brainstorm session because I really want to do it.

Please add your own new ideas, why you think mine suck, how to make mine better…. and no, I do not want to change my blog timeline software into another BeastTube.

Beast Tube! (warning:animal videos below*) *you wish, pervert

Posted in City with tags , , , on Tuesday, March 11 by City

Editor’s note: wordpress keeps track of how many people come to this website and what they search for to find it. Besides the 6 of us that usually check it and the few lurker friends of ours who don’t comment but for some reason like to watch us mindlessly argue about shit we don’t know about, the overwhelming majority of traffic comes here via google searches for… you guessed it: beasttube, beastube and beast tube. A few weeks back I wrote a little piece about godtube.com (which actually gives beasttube a run for its money in the creepiness category) and the other tube.com websites and happened to mention beasttube.com. That’s when the degenerate flood gates opened. Because of that one post a month ago, these are the web searches that directed people to our site yesterday, searches for:

beasttube 12
beast tube 3
most listened to music in 1999 1
like beasttube 1
beasttube where 1
beasttube like 1
similar to beasttube 1
beasttube free movie share 1
beasttube archive 1
beasttube similar 1

I honestly don’t know exactly why people are searching for beasttube and then coming to our site, but I find it very amusing, they are like the (hilarious) bastard children of the internet. Just in case they were looking for a detailed history of the site. Here it is.

Greetings, deviants. My statistics show about 20 of you will read this today. It is disturbing to think there are that many of you here in one place. I would say that you should all be ashamed of yourself, but who am I to judge you and your animal loving ways. I mean, its not like you guys are starting wars or anything (thats right, im looking at you www.godtube.com). Instead I will sarcastically hint at you being creepy scumbags, but as long as you’re not hurting anyone I say suck that donkey dick and pay that hooker to get screwed by that dog. Everyone wins right there right? Animal cruelty? Where?. That looks like the happiest horse I have ever seen involved in an accidental human death due to penetration of the large intestine. And now without further ado, I give you all what you came for: BEAST TUBE!!!!

The year was 2006 and as Christmas approached the animal fuckers, excuse me, I mean those who engage in Zoophilia, would get quite surprise when they scoured the internet for picture of pony penises. Archive.org tells me it was December 10th , 2006 when it found beasttube.com and cached a screen shot of this increasingly popular website. The following is from The Wayback Machine’s timeline of the site:

  • By December 30th, it already had a fancy login and a Web2.0 feel with over 12 videos on the website. They had come quite a long way.
  • By the end of March they were selling advertisements to webcowdvds.com among others. I wonder if the entrepreneurs of the site were into beastiality or just shrewd capitalists, looking to be the next webvan.com?
  • But alas! By May what had come so quickly, was gone. There was only a simple text version of the page and no videos, hardly worthy of its URL. And then, sometime after August 2007, it started linking to vho.com, a plain old boring human porno site.

What happened to the original internet beastiality video sharing community? Did the IRS take them out for tax fraud? Was the webmaster killed in Enumclaw or sued into oblivion by PETA? The world may never know. For now, you must search on, for your beloved site does not exist, but lucky for you the internet is a creepy place. GOOD LUCK!

Conclusion: This is pretty much a gimme as far as blog stats go and I plan on smashing our previous record of 12 people viewing our site in one day, but after over an hour researching and writing about it- OK well over 2 hrs as I now go through editing – , I know far more than I ever wanted to about that site. I look forward to letting you know how many more searches we have after this post. Perverts: feel free to discuss your thoughts on our site below. After this post (and subsequent commenting) I swear I will not joke about beast tube anymore.