Archive for beastube

America > Europe

Posted in Big Dog with tags , , , , on Tuesday, July 15 by KevinLHinton

I gathered enough information in 2 weeks to confirm what I already suspected. Europe is a lot of hype. Some European stereotypes that I found to be true:

- They smell like shit
– They cut in line
– They have no elivator etiquette
– Some women don’t shave their armpits
– They refuse to put ice in your drinks
– Their food doesn’t taste that good
– It is dirty and crowded
– They try to steal you shit
– They try to hard to sleep with my new wife
– They try to sell you worthless shit everywhere – similar to Mexico.
– The streets are filled with dogshit
– They speak poor Engish
– They ruin beautiful historical landmarks with building shitty poverty strucken communities filled with garbage around them.

I assume most people’s love of traveling to these countries is more based upon the fraternity party lifestyle that continues at hostels, and less to do with the dirty, expensive and crowded cities that they visit.

Mostly I am refering to the country of Italy. Spain and France were wonderful. Particularly Barcelona, which is probably the best place in the world to live.

No more than 30 Hr Work Week

Posted in CoJo with tags , , , , on Sunday, March 16 by Cojo

My Claim: Human beings should not be working more than 30 hrs a week.

Our human life is so incredibly short the fact we squander so much of it performing our various meaningless professions is a true tragedy in my opinion. I have worked more than 30 hrs in week on occasion and I have to say from personal experience it is a complete waste of time. It is a waste of time on two levels. Firstly it is waste of my valuable time as a human being. As I mentioned a few sentences ago life is short and you I see it as my duty to attempt to enjoy it as much as possible. I find work to be huge deterrent to me fully enjoying my life. Imagine if each day instead of 2 extra hrs of work you took 2 hrs to try to enjoy life. Maybe you went for hike in the forest, read a great book, or perhaps just watched 15 videos of people fucking animals (beasttube.com). Honestly wouldn’t those two hours of personal enjoyment time make a world of difference in your state of mind?

Besides just wasting my time it is also wasting my employer’s time. The human brain can only handle a certain amount of work per week (my calculations come out to about 7.5 hrs per day 4 days a week). The rest of the time the mind is just fucking off. Even if you are doing shit for work you aren’t doing it efficiently, your spacing off thinking about fucking the girl down the hall or who to play on your fantasy football team. You can’t work at top productivity 60 hrs a week, it is impossible! Though this may be very hard to believe I am actually a pretty prolific employee. Do I work a lot of hrs, not really? Do I even care about my job, not one bit? How am I able to be so productive you might ask? The answer is short busts of super efficiency brought on by my self imposed lenient work schedule. If I know I am going to be playing golf Tuesday morning and taking Friday off there is built in incentive to get as much done as possible when I’m at my desk. I really don’t consider myself lazy; a lazy person just doesn’t do anything. I am always doing something (fly fishing, hiking, or watching videos of girls having sex with horses at my favorite website Beasttube.com), the fact that I chose to do all my work related activities in a shorter span of time just means I am efficient. Efficiency should be rewarded not destroyed by standard mandatory hourly work schedules. I have worked 60 hrs in week a time or two and I have also had my share of 25 hr work weeks and to be honest I got just about the same amount done.

What is my point you might ask, I think it is pretty clear I probably don’t have one in this case. Just stop showing up for work on Friday and see if your life doesn’t take a strong turn for the better. And by better of course I mean you will be immediately fired and free to fully enjoy Beasttube.com 24 hrs a day!!!

Beast Tube! (warning:animal videos below*) *you wish, pervert

Posted in City with tags , , , on Tuesday, March 11 by City

Editor’s note: wordpress keeps track of how many people come to this website and what they search for to find it. Besides the 6 of us that usually check it and the few lurker friends of ours who don’t comment but for some reason like to watch us mindlessly argue about shit we don’t know about, the overwhelming majority of traffic comes here via google searches for… you guessed it: beasttube, beastube and beast tube. A few weeks back I wrote a little piece about godtube.com (which actually gives beasttube a run for its money in the creepiness category) and the other tube.com websites and happened to mention beasttube.com. That’s when the degenerate flood gates opened. Because of that one post a month ago, these are the web searches that directed people to our site yesterday, searches for:

beasttube 12
beast tube 3
most listened to music in 1999 1
like beasttube 1
beasttube where 1
beasttube like 1
similar to beasttube 1
beasttube free movie share 1
beasttube archive 1
beasttube similar 1

I honestly don’t know exactly why people are searching for beasttube and then coming to our site, but I find it very amusing, they are like the (hilarious) bastard children of the internet. Just in case they were looking for a detailed history of the site. Here it is.

Greetings, deviants. My statistics show about 20 of you will read this today. It is disturbing to think there are that many of you here in one place. I would say that you should all be ashamed of yourself, but who am I to judge you and your animal loving ways. I mean, its not like you guys are starting wars or anything (thats right, im looking at you http://www.godtube.com). Instead I will sarcastically hint at you being creepy scumbags, but as long as you’re not hurting anyone I say suck that donkey dick and pay that hooker to get screwed by that dog. Everyone wins right there right? Animal cruelty? Where?. That looks like the happiest horse I have ever seen involved in an accidental human death due to penetration of the large intestine. And now without further ado, I give you all what you came for: BEAST TUBE!!!!

The year was 2006 and as Christmas approached the animal fuckers, excuse me, I mean those who engage in Zoophilia, would get quite surprise when they scoured the internet for picture of pony penises. Archive.org tells me it was December 10th , 2006 when it found beasttube.com and cached a screen shot of this increasingly popular website. The following is from The Wayback Machine’s timeline of the site:

  • By December 30th, it already had a fancy login and a Web2.0 feel with over 12 videos on the website. They had come quite a long way.
  • By the end of March they were selling advertisements to webcowdvds.com among others. I wonder if the entrepreneurs of the site were into beastiality or just shrewd capitalists, looking to be the next webvan.com?
  • But alas! By May what had come so quickly, was gone. There was only a simple text version of the page and no videos, hardly worthy of its URL. And then, sometime after August 2007, it started linking to vho.com, a plain old boring human porno site.

What happened to the original internet beastiality video sharing community? Did the IRS take them out for tax fraud? Was the webmaster killed in Enumclaw or sued into oblivion by PETA? The world may never know. For now, you must search on, for your beloved site does not exist, but lucky for you the internet is a creepy place. GOOD LUCK!

Conclusion: This is pretty much a gimme as far as blog stats go and I plan on smashing our previous record of 12 people viewing our site in one day, but after over an hour researching and writing about it- OK well over 2 hrs as I now go through editing – , I know far more than I ever wanted to about that site. I look forward to letting you know how many more searches we have after this post. Perverts: feel free to discuss your thoughts on our site below. After this post (and subsequent commenting) I swear I will not joke about beast tube anymore.

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