Archive for March, 2008

New Work Strategy

Posted in CoJo with tags , , , , , , on Saturday, March 29 by Cojo

Three days ago I committed to a new “work strategy”. The strategy is basically this: While I am at my desk I am going to work and when I am done with my day’s worth of work I am going do something else. So instead of doing 6 hrs of work in 8 hrs I am going do it in 6 hrs and get the fuck out of there. This may sound like I am being lazy. Yet, I sure that every single person can look at what you did at work today and find a way to do all of it and probably considerably more in 75% of the time. Here are the time saving strategies I have implemented so far for myself:

1) Stop wasting time surfing the web all day. I notice that I mindlessly check Espn.com, Myspace, BeastTube.com, hotdogandfriends.com, hoboboobies.wordpress.com, and several other sites over and over through out the day. Now I am not saying I am giving up filling my brain with useless information, I am just going to check them once in the morning before I start working and once at the end of the day before I leave. The actual time spent checking these sites is substantial, yet the biggest efficiency gained is in regard to the reduction of mental downtime going between working, surfing the web, and getting back work. Even if I only look at the site for 30 seconds there is a 2 to 3 minute mental funk before I actually get back into work mode.

2) Email- Only check my email 4 times a day (First thing, before lunch, 2 pm, and 4:30 pm). Also when I check my email respond to all of the emails I am going to respond to. Same efficiency theory here. Email is a really important part of my job, but it is also the main inefficiency in my work day. I will be working on something important then I will get an email and drop my task. Then I will send off my email and mentally wonder off for a while. Then I get back to my task and I work for a few minutes till I get another email and drop my task again. In the end I have spent 2 hrs doing a 30 minute tasks and answering 30 minutes of emails.

3) Organize a List of Tasks- Before I start my day I am going to lay out every task I want to get done for the day. Then I am going to number them and start at the top of the list and complete each task before moving on. This will make sure I don’t waste time on less important tasks just because they are easier or less boring. This will assure I actually do the difficult or boring tasks. This plan will also layout everything I want to get done for the day and be a good barometer of when my work day is complete.

4) Knowing that I don’t have to be at work (most important one) – This is an option that unfortunately most people do not have at work. The beauty of being my own boss and a private contractor is that I get paid for what I do not the time I spend doing it. Forcing people to be at work a set amount of time is one of the great inefficiencies in our current cooperate system (see my last post about why 30 hr work days). Yet that social conditioning is really hard to escape. So often in the past I have always stayed at work until 6:00 pm everyday because I felt like I should. I felt like I was being lazy if I left early. Yet in reality the realization that I don’t have to be here seems to me to be an incredible catalyst to actual productivity. The reason most people aren’t very efficient is because it doesn’t matter how much they get done they still have to be at the office X amount of hours. Is there any wonder why people spend 2 hrs a day looking at their fantasy baseball team?
– So far so good. I honestly feel like I have had 3 of my most productive days of 2008 since implementing the strategy. Also I have put about 5 hrs of time into things I actually care about. Instead of just wasting my newly created free time I am going to try and focus it on coming up with a future for myself (and possibly others* who are brave/foolish enough to take the plunge out of the convention along me.) I will keep you updated with the progress.

My favorite idea so far: Start an eco-lodge on the beach in Panama with a bunch of my close friends. I think the idea would work if we don’t go into it with the plan of making money, just to live and enjoy life as much as possible. I will present all the logistics and details when I finish business plan.

*as long as you aren’t stupid or annoying

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Europeans…

Posted in Big Dog with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on Wednesday, March 26 by KevinLHinton

… are these guys cooler than us? There is a trend developing that everyone thinks Europeans are better than Americans. I understand that the Euro actually has value, they have “free healthcare”, the get to take naps every day, they get to wear capris, and Eric Levine doesn’t live there. I still think we are better.

First, David Hasselhoff is popular in Europe. I think I read that that guy was like #1 on the European charts for a while. No matter how shitty Americans can be, at least we all know that that guy sucks bad.

Second, Melissa knows this European guy, and he eats sandwiches for breakfast, lunch and dinner – and claims that that is normal in Europe. I like a good sandbo as much as the next guy, but that’s kind of wierd, isn’t it?

Third, from what I can tell, there arn’t very many skyscrapers in Europe.

Fourth, all good movies are made in America. I haven’t actually seen any foreign films, but it seems like they suck.

Fifth, I read in a history textbook once that one of the reasons we were successful in the Revolutionary war is that Americans are actually significantly bigger/more powerful than English people. I think we all respect the fact that power=cool? Greenberg?

Sixth, I believe www.beasttube.com was created in America.

I am a pretty generic American guy, and I am pretty sure that I am quite a bit sweeter than a generic piece of European trash.

Corey – feel free to make your post right on top of mine b/c I don’t know if this one is really going anywhere.

Work Revolution

Posted in Big Dog with tags , , , , , , , on Tuesday, March 25 by KevinLHinton

Everybody knows that we need to start our own business or else our lives or going to suck. So WTF are we going to do? Lets brainstorm brothers.

Clearly the ultimate goal is to build a bullet train after we raise enough money. The genius of the bullet train business is that you get to choose where it stops if you build it. We should buy a shit load of land somewhere cheep, and then add a stop there and instantly quadruple the value of our property. In the meantime, here are my best ideas:

First – I have noticed that people place a lot of value in things that are heavy. If you are at the Bon Marche and are looking for a toaster oven, you are clearly going to apply the weight test. If one weighs about 3 times as much, there is an assumed inherent quality in that product. So why don’t we just start copying products already on the market, but inject some lead or something into it? Boom – our product is better.

Second – a bar where you can purchase an entire keg. The idea being that if we all go to the bar, we can just throw 150 bucks down as a group, and have an entire keg of PBR, which we could either drink all ourselves, or distribute to the chickies.

 Third – Selling a deal that combines the technology of the Iphone and facebook, where the Iphone uses its GPS technology to track everywhere you go, and superimposes a line on a map showing everywhere you have ever been. I’ve always thought it would be cool if you could somehow see a visual map of everywhere you have ever been since you were born. The line tracking your route of life could change from blue (day 1) to red (present time) in color, so that your route is also a timeline. Then, you could load up your map on the software we are going to make, and it will be a conduit to blogging. So when you look at your personal map, you can put a dot on the line for events that took place, and when you click on it you can post pictures/blog about what happened then and there. Then, everybody could upload these on to facebook, and have them all linked. So there would be like sponsored events, where a bunch of people would probably have one of these “dots” on their timeline. For instance, if you were at a certain bar on Friday night,a lot of other people would be there too. So when you click on the dot a few days later, you could see who all else was there, pictures they posted, blogs they wrote about it, and then could connect with people there. Maybe you saw some hot chick that you didn’t get a chance to talk to, but now you see her a few days later on this sweet new technology I’m inventing? Clearly the toughest part is some people might be uncomfortable with posting exactly where they have been and when to the public. Well, you could easily add a feature to the software so that you could block out chuncks of time from your timeline to not show to the public. Problem solved.

Fourth – our idea about taking over a small resort town somewhere. This deserves it’s own brainstorm session because I really want to do it.

Please add your own new ideas, why you think mine suck, how to make mine better…. and no, I do not want to change my blog timeline software into another BeastTube.

No more than 30 Hr Work Week

Posted in CoJo with tags , , , , on Sunday, March 16 by Cojo

My Claim: Human beings should not be working more than 30 hrs a week.

Our human life is so incredibly short the fact we squander so much of it performing our various meaningless professions is a true tragedy in my opinion. I have worked more than 30 hrs in week on occasion and I have to say from personal experience it is a complete waste of time. It is a waste of time on two levels. Firstly it is waste of my valuable time as a human being. As I mentioned a few sentences ago life is short and you I see it as my duty to attempt to enjoy it as much as possible. I find work to be huge deterrent to me fully enjoying my life. Imagine if each day instead of 2 extra hrs of work you took 2 hrs to try to enjoy life. Maybe you went for hike in the forest, read a great book, or perhaps just watched 15 videos of people fucking animals (beasttube.com). Honestly wouldn’t those two hours of personal enjoyment time make a world of difference in your state of mind?

Besides just wasting my time it is also wasting my employer’s time. The human brain can only handle a certain amount of work per week (my calculations come out to about 7.5 hrs per day 4 days a week). The rest of the time the mind is just fucking off. Even if you are doing shit for work you aren’t doing it efficiently, your spacing off thinking about fucking the girl down the hall or who to play on your fantasy football team. You can’t work at top productivity 60 hrs a week, it is impossible! Though this may be very hard to believe I am actually a pretty prolific employee. Do I work a lot of hrs, not really? Do I even care about my job, not one bit? How am I able to be so productive you might ask? The answer is short busts of super efficiency brought on by my self imposed lenient work schedule. If I know I am going to be playing golf Tuesday morning and taking Friday off there is built in incentive to get as much done as possible when I’m at my desk. I really don’t consider myself lazy; a lazy person just doesn’t do anything. I am always doing something (fly fishing, hiking, or watching videos of girls having sex with horses at my favorite website Beasttube.com), the fact that I chose to do all my work related activities in a shorter span of time just means I am efficient. Efficiency should be rewarded not destroyed by standard mandatory hourly work schedules. I have worked 60 hrs in week a time or two and I have also had my share of 25 hr work weeks and to be honest I got just about the same amount done.

What is my point you might ask, I think it is pretty clear I probably don’t have one in this case. Just stop showing up for work on Friday and see if your life doesn’t take a strong turn for the better. And by better of course I mean you will be immediately fired and free to fully enjoy Beasttube.com 24 hrs a day!!!

Beast Tube! (warning:animal videos below*) *you wish, pervert

Posted in City with tags , , , on Tuesday, March 11 by City

Editor’s note: wordpress keeps track of how many people come to this website and what they search for to find it. Besides the 6 of us that usually check it and the few lurker friends of ours who don’t comment but for some reason like to watch us mindlessly argue about shit we don’t know about, the overwhelming majority of traffic comes here via google searches for… you guessed it: beasttube, beastube and beast tube. A few weeks back I wrote a little piece about godtube.com (which actually gives beasttube a run for its money in the creepiness category) and the other tube.com websites and happened to mention beasttube.com. That’s when the degenerate flood gates opened. Because of that one post a month ago, these are the web searches that directed people to our site yesterday, searches for:

beasttube 12
beast tube 3
most listened to music in 1999 1
like beasttube 1
beasttube where 1
beasttube like 1
similar to beasttube 1
beasttube free movie share 1
beasttube archive 1
beasttube similar 1

I honestly don’t know exactly why people are searching for beasttube and then coming to our site, but I find it very amusing, they are like the (hilarious) bastard children of the internet. Just in case they were looking for a detailed history of the site. Here it is.

Greetings, deviants. My statistics show about 20 of you will read this today. It is disturbing to think there are that many of you here in one place. I would say that you should all be ashamed of yourself, but who am I to judge you and your animal loving ways. I mean, its not like you guys are starting wars or anything (thats right, im looking at you http://www.godtube.com). Instead I will sarcastically hint at you being creepy scumbags, but as long as you’re not hurting anyone I say suck that donkey dick and pay that hooker to get screwed by that dog. Everyone wins right there right? Animal cruelty? Where?. That looks like the happiest horse I have ever seen involved in an accidental human death due to penetration of the large intestine. And now without further ado, I give you all what you came for: BEAST TUBE!!!!

The year was 2006 and as Christmas approached the animal fuckers, excuse me, I mean those who engage in Zoophilia, would get quite surprise when they scoured the internet for picture of pony penises. Archive.org tells me it was December 10th , 2006 when it found beasttube.com and cached a screen shot of this increasingly popular website. The following is from The Wayback Machine’s timeline of the site:

  • By December 30th, it already had a fancy login and a Web2.0 feel with over 12 videos on the website. They had come quite a long way.
  • By the end of March they were selling advertisements to webcowdvds.com among others. I wonder if the entrepreneurs of the site were into beastiality or just shrewd capitalists, looking to be the next webvan.com?
  • But alas! By May what had come so quickly, was gone. There was only a simple text version of the page and no videos, hardly worthy of its URL. And then, sometime after August 2007, it started linking to vho.com, a plain old boring human porno site.

What happened to the original internet beastiality video sharing community? Did the IRS take them out for tax fraud? Was the webmaster killed in Enumclaw or sued into oblivion by PETA? The world may never know. For now, you must search on, for your beloved site does not exist, but lucky for you the internet is a creepy place. GOOD LUCK!

Conclusion: This is pretty much a gimme as far as blog stats go and I plan on smashing our previous record of 12 people viewing our site in one day, but after over an hour researching and writing about it- OK well over 2 hrs as I now go through editing – , I know far more than I ever wanted to about that site. I look forward to letting you know how many more searches we have after this post. Perverts: feel free to discuss your thoughts on our site below. After this post (and subsequent commenting) I swear I will not joke about beast tube anymore.

Aliens… Yes or No?

Posted in Big Dog with tags , , , , , , , , on Saturday, March 8 by KevinLHinton

Is anybody else convinced that aliens exist? So what if Scientologists believe in the alien god Xenu? Why is that so much crazier than christians believing in ghosts?

I believe in aliens and ghosts, but if I am going to try and be rational about it, the alien is much more likely than a ghost. And no, I am not talking about just any sort of extraterrestrial life including bacteria, nerd. I am talking about some sort of creature that can walk/swim/fly around.

But why is an alien such a hard thing to grasp? Aren’t we aliens? An alien is just a creature living on some planet flying around, just like us. If you can believe that we exist, why is it so hard to imagine that an alien could? And what line of reasoning can reject an alien, but accept the concept of a ghost? There is no basis for that. It doesn’t even make sense.

As said in that Jodie Foster movie, what a waste of space if there are not aliens. The concept of infinity blows my mind. But then to think that all of infinity is wasted on life here on earth is rediculous. All those rocks and shit flying around space for all of infinity for no purpose?

Also – for people that don’t believe in any sort of religion and are strictly science/evolotion guys (Parker) what do you think would be happening if our Earth wasn’t conducive to evolution and we never happened? Would rocks just be flying around in space, and no living being would ever be here to experience it? Just a bunch of bullshit outer space stuff would be here for eternity and no life? That would be wierd.

I will be much more surprised if at some point in my future I see a ghost than if I see an alien.

Michael Moore’s “Sicko”

Posted in Big Dog with tags , , , , , , , , on Sunday, March 2 by KevinLHinton

“Sicko” reminds  me more of “Bowling for Columbine” than “Fahrenheit 9/11”, which I think most people would agree is a good thing. Another bonus, healthcare is a more relevant issue than gun control. Maybe it is stupid that anybody can buy a gun, but I am not losing any sleep over it. The fact that people want to kill other people in the first place is a bigger concern to me than the means they use to do it.

There are 2 separate issues that Moore somehow co-mingles.

First – he had a Kevin Hinton style attack on Special Interest Groups. Insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies are clearly evil, and their obscene influence on Capital Hill is driving up America’s health care costs to an absurd level. This was the better part of the movie, and I agree. Those SOBs need to be put in check.

Second – universal, government sponsored, socialist health care is better than private health care. Is that even true?

I don’t really know, but I don’t really think it is the slam dunk that Sicko makes it out to be. There is too much focus in Michael Moore films on individual stories that play the sympathy card. I want more facts, less propaganda.

How much are our taxes going to go up if there is universal health care? Isn’t that the most obvious question that should be answered? Healthcare isn’t free. We can either pay for it with taxes, or directly through a private market. Is there any data that suggests a bureaucratic government run health care system is more efficient than a private one? Although capitalism has its flaws – it is typically way more efficient than our piece of crap government. 

Moore implies that health care is free in the UK – but fails to mention that payroll taxes there are like 5o%. How much of that goes to health care? I don’t know – but it is not like there is some magic going on over there, somebody is paying for it. Standard Moore propaganda where he misleads you with just part of the story.

In Moore’s extended interview with Tony Benn, an old English dude/labor leader, he explains the socialized healthcare as “Pay according to your means, get treated according to your needs.”  This is the heart of what bothers me about socialism and universal health care. People getting punished, because they have greater “means”.   

Yeah, it sounds great if you are the poor guy that couldn’t afford your own health insurance to begin with – now you get it for free. But what about the guy that worked hard all his life, and now has to pay for the lazy dudes health care and his own? Well, that guy is me – and I say fuck you. Go get a job and buy some insurance.  

Maybe that is ruff –  but guess what, that is life. When you were born, you were given the responsibility to take care of yourself. Quit looking for handouts. You are a looter. Why do I owe you anything you son of a bitch? Because I actually went to class in high school? Because I paid for my own college, and now work my ass off for an almost decent salary? Screw off – you got to fuck around all through high school – now it is my time to shine. Enjoy your diabetes.  

When poor people are having a tuff time it always seems like an easy answer say – hey, why don’t we just take some more of the rich people’s money to pay for it? Well, because I earned that money. It is not yours to take.  

That was a bit of a crazy conservative rant I just went on that I don’t actually believe.  But I do think that it raises some important questions that Moore fails to answer.  Typically I am fine with socializing things that qualify as fundamental needs that all people should have a right too – like education. Health care probably falls into that category. I just wish Moore would get into how it is actually implemented, and why it will make sense.  I am pro socialized health care for kids – it is not their fault their parents are incapable of taking care of them. 

On another note – rather than government sponsored health care – why isn’t there a not-for-profit insurance organization? That seems like it would solve a lot of problems, and could prevent the necessity of socializing health care.