Beast Tube! (warning:animal videos below*) *you wish, pervert
Editor’s note: wordpress keeps track of how many people come to this website and what they search for to find it. Besides the 6 of us that usually check it and the few lurker friends of ours who don’t comment but for some reason like to watch us mindlessly argue about shit we don’t know about, the overwhelming majority of traffic comes here via google searches for… you guessed it: beasttube, beastube and beast tube. A few weeks back I wrote a little piece about godtube.com (which actually gives beasttube a run for its money in the creepiness category) and the other tube.com websites and happened to mention beasttube.com. That’s when the degenerate flood gates opened. Because of that one post a month ago, these are the web searches that directed people to our site yesterday, searches for:
beasttube 12 beast tube 3 most listened to music in 1999 1 like beasttube 1 beasttube where 1 beasttube like 1 similar to beasttube 1 beasttube free movie share 1 beasttube archive 1 beasttube similar 1
I honestly don’t know exactly why people are searching for beasttube and then coming to our site, but I find it very amusing, they are like the (hilarious) bastard children of the internet. Just in case they were looking for a detailed history of the site. Here it is.
Greetings, deviants. My statistics show about 20 of you will read this today. It is disturbing to think there are that many of you here in one place. I would say that you should all be ashamed of yourself, but who am I to judge you and your animal loving ways. I mean, its not like you guys are starting wars or anything (thats right, im looking at you http://www.godtube.com). Instead I will sarcastically hint at you being creepy scumbags, but as long as you’re not hurting anyone I say suck that donkey dick and pay that hooker to get screwed by that dog. Everyone wins right there right? Animal cruelty? Where?. That looks like the happiest horse I have ever seen involved in an accidental human death due to penetration of the large intestine. And now without further ado, I give you all what you came for: BEAST TUBE!!!!
The year was 2006 and as Christmas approached the animal fuckers, excuse me, I mean those who engage in Zoophilia, would get quite surprise when they scoured the internet for picture of pony penises. Archive.org tells me it was December 10th , 2006 when it found beasttube.com and cached a screen shot of this increasingly popular website. The following is from The Wayback Machine’s timeline of the site:
- By December 30th, it already had a fancy login and a Web2.0 feel with over 12 videos on the website. They had come quite a long way.
- By the end of March they were selling advertisements to webcowdvds.com among others. I wonder if the entrepreneurs of the site were into beastiality or just shrewd capitalists, looking to be the next webvan.com?
- But alas! By May what had come so quickly, was gone. There was only a simple text version of the page and no videos, hardly worthy of its URL. And then, sometime after August 2007, it started linking to vho.com, a plain old boring human porno site.
What happened to the original internet beastiality video sharing community? Did the IRS take them out for tax fraud? Was the webmaster killed in Enumclaw or sued into oblivion by PETA? The world may never know. For now, you must search on, for your beloved site does not exist, but lucky for you the internet is a creepy place. GOOD LUCK!
Conclusion: This is pretty much a gimme as far as blog stats go and I plan on smashing our previous record of 12 people viewing our site in one day, but after over an hour researching and writing about it- OK well over 2 hrs as I now go through editing – , I know far more than I ever wanted to about that site. I look forward to letting you know how many more searches we have after this post. Perverts: feel free to discuss your thoughts on our site below. After this post (and subsequent commenting) I swear I will not joke about beast tube anymore.