So yep, I went to NY to see Eli last weekend with Joe. I went last year around this time to his old place which was up by Madison Square Garden. He moved in with two new dudes, still in Manhattan but down towards the East Village. I’m proud to admit that Eli has progressed on his path to become a socially accepted person of society. Maybe its purely the number of people that he is forced to rub shoulders with in the big city, but they must be rubbing off on him because he was about the most normal person we ran into. Of course this comes from a self-professed Eli supporter, so take it with a grain of salt. Hopefully Joe will have some other pictures. I will post a link to Joe’s blog when he writes something. He might have some better pictures and he is definitely a better writer. Unfortunately I didn’t use my camera much and managed to not even captured a picture of his girlfriend. He has been dating her for 4 weeks now and he is considering putting on the full court press of making her his Jewess princess back in Seattle. She is good looking and seemed like a really cool girl. A few red alarms went off while talking to her but I wont go into that, its probably nothing to worry about Eli. I am pretty pissed about not having a picture of her. I also don’t have much in the way of any disastrous Eli stories as I am sure people would like but he seems to have his shit together, so what can you do? Here he is now:
His new roommates on the other hand are pieces of work and took a lot of the spot light off him. Roommate number 1 is Phil and he was actually a pretty sweet dude. He bartended at place in Manhattan near Eli where we went the first night and basically opened up the bar for us. Eli worked the next day so Joe and I were going to leave with him until Phil accused us of attending Nursing School in Seattle. Eventually I ended up behind the bar (pictured), accusing people of attending various Nursing Schools, which turned out to be Phil’s favorite saying and one he repeated many times as the night proceeded while he handed out, and drink, an unprofessional, yet gracious, amount of free booze. Unfortunately Eli had another roommate, Brian. Meet this piece of work here pictured with his wench/assistant:
Brian is a friend of Phil’s from home and I don’t know where to begin about him, but I woke up with him on the couch next to me at about noon smoking a bowl in a towel, running his mouth to Joe about how he almost had his “dick eaten like a cheeseburger by a couple fat chicks” in the owner’s box of the Braves-Mets game. To which I said “nice”, gave him a nod of approval and tried to ignore him for a while, but for the rest of the weekend he didn’t stop talking unless he had a pipe in his mouth. I literally never saw him once not stoned. He also smelled pretty bad. So anyway
This one is me walking ahead of Eli’s old roommates who we hung out with the last night. They exclusively wear black sports jackets and talk about banging chicks, though I get the feeling there is a lot of talking about banging and little to no actual banging. They are even bigger Eli fans that I am and call him “The Sherif” because he “wrangles the cattle from the wild upper west side”. One of them is French and so he calls Eli the “SHAreeef”. They were nice guys and all and I bought them a couple $12 rum and cokes at the bar we went to.
In summary, New York is the place to be. I am in no position to up and move over there or anything, but Eli definitely has the right idea. Rack up a couple years of credit card debt and move out once you can’t pay your $1700 rent for a tiny room in the heart of the coolest city on the planet.