Greatest Rush chairs of All-time

I am going to go ahead and rate the most powerful rush trios in Delta Chi history. And by all of Delta Chi history I mean the 5 years I am aware of.  

 

Being a rush chairman is the ultimate honor that can be bestowed upon a fraternity gentleman. What are the qualifications? Basically, your fraternity brothers have to think that other people will think you are cool.

 

So here it goes:

 

#5 – Spencer Morgan, David Ryder, and Trevor Wade

 

A pretty ragtag group from the get go. A team that lacked money management skills, organization, work ethic, and ability.

 

Spendawg was the really the most reliable member of the group which is a pretty strong indication of their weakness. Really only appeals to a niche group of rushees, but does make a strong impact in his demographic. He also owned a car. I’ll give him a B.

 

David Ryder is a solid guy, but really a throwaway pick at the rush chair position. The laid back chill dude personality translates into poor work ethic and lack of charisma. Really a solid brother outside of his element. Grades out as a C.

 

Trevor appears to have all the tools to be a solid rush chairman. Easy to talk too, probably the coolest friend I have, knows hot chicks, knows lots of cool people, athletic, loves to party. In the end though, probably too cool for school. Hot chicks took precedent over rushees, and college football drafts on playstation took precedent over cleaning the house. Also, to proud to pretend he likes kids that suck – which is essential to round out that rush class in September. Lastly, I am pretty sure that Trevor wasn’t even enrolled at school at the time, which was kind of weird. I give Trevor a C.

 

Overall: Solid group of guys that just were not destined to lead summer rush. Final #’s on the class was about 15 guys I think? But like 7 of which were those fags from King’s highschool (McPherson land) that destroyed our house and left after one week. I think that pledge class ended up being about 9 dudes, who were all pretty solid and stuck together for all 4 years. Also, they spent about $5,000 more than they were supposed too, mostly on drugs. If we were ranking them on how cool they are to hang out with they would probably get an A, but as rush chairs I’ll give them a C+.

 

#4 – Dan Baker, Dave Baker, Brian Vennable

 

A pretty strange year. These guys signed some allstars before summer even started, including hoboboobies favorites Cojo, Ralston, Greenberg, Cole, etc. They stalled in the end though, and had to round out a somewhat dissapointing 15 man class with guys like Jon Ng.

 

Dan Baker is my big bro and all around solid dude. The leader of the group, and in general has solid stats as a rush chair. I think everybody enjoys his company and he seems to have his head on his shoulders. I’ll give him a B+.

 

Everybody has their Baker preference, and I have always been a Dan guy. I think that Dave has his niche though. Either one of these guys could probably be an A on their own, but 2 Bakers is one too many on a rush team, and they both grade out as a B+.

 

Brian Vennable – Too eccentric and emotional to be a reliable rush chairman. A workhorse one day and completely absent or emotional or fighting the next. B-.

 

Overall – I think this team just got cocky. Solid group that should have done better. My guess is that although good guys, they probably came across as a little old for the 18 year old crowd as they drank their fancy beers with Brian Martin in 3rd old. Rush chairs need a passion for cheep beer and chasing chicks. Anyone of these guys has the potential to do big things, but they needed a wildcard thrown in. Overall a B.

 

#3 Ian Hargus, Nate Welch, and Clint Russell

 

This is a tough group to rate, but you can’t argue with the results. I think they signed about 20 dudes in a very competitive rush environment, many of which were freshman and seemed pretty cool. They had a good mix going where all three hated each other, which I think kept them on their toes.  Plus they had the BigDog playing World of Warcraft by day, and helping rush by night, which didn’t hurt their chances.

 

Hargus is obviously a pretty huge fag, but his approach of doing everything extravagantly I think paid some dividends. Hargus is the ultimate manipulator and bullshitter, which are great qualities in recruiting a bunch of kids with low self-esteem. He was integral in getting some slutty live-in chicks, and overall did a pretty good job. On the other hand, most rushees with any self-respect were almost immediately turned off by Hargus. Also, he was prone to not helping do anything besides hang out, and would disappear sometimes. I’ll give him a B+.

 

Welch – pretty funny, sometimes a hard worker, overall did a pretty good job. He is an asshole, which works out sometimes, and not other times. B+

 

Clint is really the Eric Levine of his class, and I didn’t appreciate his involvement as a rush chair. Rush chair is a position that demand the respect of your brothers. You don’t just give it to a guy because he is responsible and has a plan. What’s next, Lucas Wunch? Anyways, in this scenario I think It worked out ok because the group needed his balance with Hargus involved. Any other year I would say no way – but I’ll give him a B+.

 

Overall a pretty good year #’s wise, and a pretty kick ass summer. They would get an A, but they focused to hard on trying to get cool guys, and in my opinion changed the entire culture of the fraternity into a bunch of fags. Have you hung out with dudes living at the fraternity lately? It is terrible. Overall score is a B+.

 

#2 Kevin Hinton, Corey Johnson, and Parker Montgomery

 

Really the heart and sole of what Delta Chi Fraternity is all about. A rush dream team that put everything they had into a badass summer and rush class.

 

BigDog –  I probably have to downgrade myself from the A+ I truly deserve due to the amount of time spent with my current wife. Some things are more important than rush, okay assholes? But really a true workhorse on the phones, cleaning, ideas, and beloved by all rushees. Absolutely wonderful at pretending to be a party animal frat dude even though I am a boring guy in a committed relationship. A rush chair all-star on any team. Not to mention I signed like 7 dudes in the spring class before. God damn it I rule at rushing. A

 

Cojo –. Could only be downgraded for locking me out of my room to have relations with his girlfriend, and sometimes being a bit of a pessimist, but overcome by being all-around all star. Due to the high score I decline to comment further. Solid job A+

 

Parker provided the conservative/capitalist balance that Corey and I probably needed. Really a zero in personality. Literally had to force him to drink a box of wine before any event. Worked hard and good team member. A Ryan Ingles sign would have put him over the top, but as is gets an A-.

 

17 dudes, lots of freshman, great class, great summer. Really were going after some blue chip recruits that didn’t all come through due to a lack of firepower from the rest of the frat house in amount of cool dudes. Almost assembled the greatest class ever with some of the guys we were going after, but fell a little short at the end and just ended up being an all around great group. Did sign Delta Chi legend Ryan Face. Overall grade is an A.

 

#1 – Loren Buchanan, Trevor Sparks, Adam Siegel

 

I don’t know if you could craft a better group if you could handpick these guys from every class. A true rush Juggernaut.  Signed 21 guys including your truly, Parker, Bobby, Jake the Snake, and a litany of other Delta Chi greats.

 

Loren beautifully portrayed everything a fraternity man could want to be, and I believe was our entire rush classes idol. He was the epitome of cool, and could have signed me up by himself. A+

 

Trevor Sparks will always be the mascot of our fraternity to me. In all respects he was outrageous, and at a young 18 years of age I was fascinated by everything about him. I don’t think I was alone. A+

 

Adam speaks to you with that condescending arrogance that really makes you feel like you have earned something when he offers you a spot in the frat house. He is a powerful Jew, and I was anxious to be associated with him. Plus he had a sweet car, boat, and Jet Ski. I actually might rate Adam as the funniest member in my tenure at the fraternity, and I enjoy everything about him. A+

 

Overall the greatest rush team assembled to my knowledge. They are the reason I am not a Sig Ep or a Delt, and I will be forever grateful. A+

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12 Responses to “Greatest Rush chairs of All-time”

  1. – I enjoy that Kevin has now ranked me above both him and Parker as both a fighter and rush chair.

    – Ryan Face use to reguarly fuck a porn star. We signed that guy.

    – Forcing Parker to get drunk before rush events in order to make him bearable to be around was a key rush stragegy that we figured out a little too late or we would have signed about 10 more dudes.

    – I think this is a pretty fair ranking though. I never saw loren, sparks, and adam in action but I can imagine they were pretty sweet dudes. The first time I met Loren all he did was talk about eating pussy for 30 minutes I can see how that would appeal to the 18 yr old male demographic.

  2. theFondler Says:

    That is a pretty fair analysis. The best part about the Loren, Adam, Sparks trio was that I had absolutely no fucking idea Sparks was a rush chairman until after I signed. He would just randomly show up at rush events sans shirt, bark at girls, and talk about how if you didn’t wash your balls for 7 days they had the same aroma as vageen. Handedly, my dark horse.

  3. This post is great (or fucking awesome! – in fraternese), but I think what you’ve attempted here is too ambitious, and perhaps too difficult to pull-off with any semblance of objectivity. I think that everyone of us has a soft-spot for the dudes who signed us – I think most in my class would give porter/robinson the nod for the #1 slot – anyway, Adam is gonna blow a gasket when he sees that Sparks performance as rush-chair has finally been validated by electronic media. Bravo.

  4. i dont know if it is possible underestimate what a complete waste of time that summer was. the funniest thing about it was that i literally despised both of you for about 3/4 of the summer… not so different than now really. ill come and read the rest later

  5. So flawed. #1 is clearly Kowalski, Stahnke, and Camm. They signed Barrett Price and the Nerpals. Case closed.

    Oh, it’s not closed? How about Colwell and Towler too? Chew on that gristle for awhile and come back with a list that makes sense.

    Also, I’m not sure if any of those three were actually rush chairs, but whoever signed those guys is #1 in my book. The book I’m referring to is, of course, The Book Of People Who Must Be Crushed Into Dust With A Giant Hammer. I’ve got a couple publishers interested so far, but nothing concrete yet.

  6. Don’t forget Marcos and that guy who dropped the house to pursue a choir major…… I think we signed them as well.

  7. I’m honored. I can’t wait til we get to do a VH1 behind the Rush summer. It will be revealed (to absolutely no one’s surprise) that Loren and I had to fight Sparks tooth and nail every step of the way. It will be like the awesome Styx Behind the Music. Sparks wanted to do Mr. Robato while Loren and I wanted to stick to the ole’ rock and rollin ways. Sparks definitely brought something unique to the table, yet I still can’t figure out exactly what it is. Let’s call it the Lovable Monster theory. I will go on record that I would definitely put Kris Krustangel and Josh Robinson ahead of our group on the list. I’m sure Loren and Trevor would agree, since that’s why we joined the house. If not for Josh pegging random M’s fans in the back of the head with peanuts from less than 3 feet away, I’d be Chi Psi or some other horrendous thing. I do think that we could take all comers for athletic supremacy though (if we could cut Loren).

  8. As Beef mentioned, objectivity seems to be lacking from your rankings. I might not be in a position to judge here but let me list some undeniable evidence that you grossly inflated your summer rush value: Zach McPherson, Petey Pab, Chase, Ian Hargus, Clint Russel, Nate Welch…For brevity’s sake let’s just say everyone besides my little bro who smoked an unhealthy amount of weed (can’t quite recall his name…adam maybe?). That said, I will admit that I too was wooed by Kevin’s ultra-fratty alter-ego. Here are some bits of the Big Dog wisdom that made him a great rush chair: “why live in a boring old dorm when you could be paying the same price to be living in a house drinking beer and getting on chicks all the time?” and my favorite “yeah this is the party room, we have to redo the floor every couple years because it gets so much foot traffic.” I’ll give you bonus points for blatantly lying with a straight face while treating me to “rush events” like watching you, Justin, Fandel, and Lervold play Halo. Thanks again, Kev.

    Also Trevor, Ryder and I have no business on any kind of best rush chair list (regardless if you only have 5 options to choose from). Some blame, however, must be placed on the treasurer and president who were too concerned with leveling up their ringwraiths and dwarf hunters to notice that we were thousands of dollars over budget before signing our first guy. And, although our unique strategy of solely recruiting dudes who had no intention of hopes of enrolling at UW didn’t pay off I still think we should get some extra recognition for spending an entire day shoveling various types of maggot-infested rotten meats out of an industrial fridge and battling the mutated monster flies it spawned.

  9. Shaggy DA Says:

    Honorable mention needs to go to Silas Flores. He signed Westberg, as well as six other guys who were solely responsible for almost turning into the modern day Dekes. Then again, I assume Siegel had a lot to do with Westberg’s signing, so I’ll credit that to Adam and let Silas reclaim his spot as one of the worst human beings on the planet.

  10. – You are such an idiot Spencer I was not using a dwarf hunter that summer I was using a Tauren Hunter. Looking back on that summer maybe it wasn’t that great of an idea to play online vidoe gaems 23.75 hrs a day for 3 straight months straight.

    – I have to assume Colwell was only signed as desperate attempt to get Towler in the house. Though that ended up working out horrible for everyone invovled I would have to admit it was worth the risk.

  11. #1 rush chairmen signed Hoseman. Interpret however you would like.

  12. A true honor. Its nice to finally be acknowledged for all of the hard work I put in to making the Delta Chi Fraternity a better place.

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