Archive for work

A little fuck up at work

Posted in CoJo with tags , , , , , on Thursday, April 24 by Cojo

As many of you know when I am not attempting to figure out/bitching about my meaningless life on this planet I work as a land development consultant and Realtor. Well last night after a pretty shitty day at work I made a very large yet comical fuck up that I thought I should share with you.

Right now i am working with a Realtor in rural Eastern Oregon on a referral for a piece of property a client of mine owns (that client also happens to be my grandma). What this means is that I give them my client’s listing and they agree to pay me 25% of the commission for doing nothing. Not a bad deal. In an attempt to do my client a service I prescreened my pick by sending out an email to all the local realtors (about 6) within 75 miles of the property. In the email I just asked them what they would do for marketing and what rate they would charge my client. Pretty basic. Well as the search went along I found one lady who seemed to do the most rural listings. There was a concern that she was unethical, but in rural markets I assumed that was probably a good thing. Well somewhere along the way she became offended that I had asked other realtors about the listing. This is her email to me.

“Hi Corey,
Yes, your new to the Real Estate Field does show thru so I will accept this knowing you are new and do not know how to Professionally approach this situation. I was very offended to think you would try to pit two Seasoned Principal Brokers for a listing, we have lots of listing and clients so we are not in the Big City arena for clients. We both treat our clients as family and enjoy working with them as individuals.
As for a referral we can do out of State referrals but I do need your Principal Broker to give me a quick E-Mail letting me know if he is licensed in Oregon or if the State of Washington allows by Real Estate Law for a non-Oregon Licensed Real Estate Office to accept referrals from Oregon. I do 20% Referral Fee to listing side at closing.
I like your Grand Parents very much and consider them a Friend, I will get back with your Grandmother when your Principal Broker sends me this information.
Sounds like you are trying to do a good job just don’t offend or step on other Realtors as you try to go up the ladder. Success comes to those who are honest, truthful, and sincerely enjoy the work not just for the $$ involved, “Be Human and treat others as you wish to be treated”.
Sincerely
Ilena”

I have to admit this email greatly annoyed me. It annoyed me so much that I wrote this email to send to my grandma/client.

“If you want my honest opinion she is small town realtor with a very small town mind, and to be honest she is a patronising idiot. I think she will do a decent job as your realtor, but treating someone who I would wager is considerably more intelligent and considerably more professional than her like a child is not getting her anywhere in my book. The messages I sent her were exactly what an actual REAL ESTATE PROFESSIONAL would send. I will get my broker to email her and you guys can move forward.

Thanks,

Corey”

In my haste to leave work and due to the fact I am possibly retarded instead of typing my grandma’s email address in I had pushed reply and sent this little gem right back to Ilena. I instantly realized this and in an attempt to save some face issued this response

” Wow! How about that message. To be honest I really didn’t really mean to send that to you. I will just leave it at that.”

Needless to say I am now looking for a new Realtor in Eastern Oregon.

– On another note Unity, OR the town my grandma has some land in seems almost perfect for a small town take over. About 50 people live in the town (was 100 but 2 biggest companies closed down, logging company and forest service). It is located on a decent sized highway. It right next to cool lake and river. The best part is that the forrest service has a giant complex for sale for really cheap we could all move into and actually start a resort out of. Look into it.

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New Work Strategy

Posted in CoJo with tags , , , , , , on Saturday, March 29 by Cojo

Three days ago I committed to a new “work strategy”. The strategy is basically this: While I am at my desk I am going to work and when I am done with my day’s worth of work I am going do something else. So instead of doing 6 hrs of work in 8 hrs I am going do it in 6 hrs and get the fuck out of there. This may sound like I am being lazy. Yet, I sure that every single person can look at what you did at work today and find a way to do all of it and probably considerably more in 75% of the time. Here are the time saving strategies I have implemented so far for myself:

1) Stop wasting time surfing the web all day. I notice that I mindlessly check Espn.com, Myspace, BeastTube.com, hotdogandfriends.com, hoboboobies.wordpress.com, and several other sites over and over through out the day. Now I am not saying I am giving up filling my brain with useless information, I am just going to check them once in the morning before I start working and once at the end of the day before I leave. The actual time spent checking these sites is substantial, yet the biggest efficiency gained is in regard to the reduction of mental downtime going between working, surfing the web, and getting back work. Even if I only look at the site for 30 seconds there is a 2 to 3 minute mental funk before I actually get back into work mode.

2) Email- Only check my email 4 times a day (First thing, before lunch, 2 pm, and 4:30 pm). Also when I check my email respond to all of the emails I am going to respond to. Same efficiency theory here. Email is a really important part of my job, but it is also the main inefficiency in my work day. I will be working on something important then I will get an email and drop my task. Then I will send off my email and mentally wonder off for a while. Then I get back to my task and I work for a few minutes till I get another email and drop my task again. In the end I have spent 2 hrs doing a 30 minute tasks and answering 30 minutes of emails.

3) Organize a List of Tasks- Before I start my day I am going to lay out every task I want to get done for the day. Then I am going to number them and start at the top of the list and complete each task before moving on. This will make sure I don’t waste time on less important tasks just because they are easier or less boring. This will assure I actually do the difficult or boring tasks. This plan will also layout everything I want to get done for the day and be a good barometer of when my work day is complete.

4) Knowing that I don’t have to be at work (most important one) – This is an option that unfortunately most people do not have at work. The beauty of being my own boss and a private contractor is that I get paid for what I do not the time I spend doing it. Forcing people to be at work a set amount of time is one of the great inefficiencies in our current cooperate system (see my last post about why 30 hr work days). Yet that social conditioning is really hard to escape. So often in the past I have always stayed at work until 6:00 pm everyday because I felt like I should. I felt like I was being lazy if I left early. Yet in reality the realization that I don’t have to be here seems to me to be an incredible catalyst to actual productivity. The reason most people aren’t very efficient is because it doesn’t matter how much they get done they still have to be at the office X amount of hours. Is there any wonder why people spend 2 hrs a day looking at their fantasy baseball team?
– So far so good. I honestly feel like I have had 3 of my most productive days of 2008 since implementing the strategy. Also I have put about 5 hrs of time into things I actually care about. Instead of just wasting my newly created free time I am going to try and focus it on coming up with a future for myself (and possibly others* who are brave/foolish enough to take the plunge out of the convention along me.) I will keep you updated with the progress.

My favorite idea so far: Start an eco-lodge on the beach in Panama with a bunch of my close friends. I think the idea would work if we don’t go into it with the plan of making money, just to live and enjoy life as much as possible. I will present all the logistics and details when I finish business plan.

*as long as you aren’t stupid or annoying

No more than 30 Hr Work Week

Posted in CoJo with tags , , , , on Sunday, March 16 by Cojo

My Claim: Human beings should not be working more than 30 hrs a week.

Our human life is so incredibly short the fact we squander so much of it performing our various meaningless professions is a true tragedy in my opinion. I have worked more than 30 hrs in week on occasion and I have to say from personal experience it is a complete waste of time. It is a waste of time on two levels. Firstly it is waste of my valuable time as a human being. As I mentioned a few sentences ago life is short and you I see it as my duty to attempt to enjoy it as much as possible. I find work to be huge deterrent to me fully enjoying my life. Imagine if each day instead of 2 extra hrs of work you took 2 hrs to try to enjoy life. Maybe you went for hike in the forest, read a great book, or perhaps just watched 15 videos of people fucking animals (beasttube.com). Honestly wouldn’t those two hours of personal enjoyment time make a world of difference in your state of mind?

Besides just wasting my time it is also wasting my employer’s time. The human brain can only handle a certain amount of work per week (my calculations come out to about 7.5 hrs per day 4 days a week). The rest of the time the mind is just fucking off. Even if you are doing shit for work you aren’t doing it efficiently, your spacing off thinking about fucking the girl down the hall or who to play on your fantasy football team. You can’t work at top productivity 60 hrs a week, it is impossible! Though this may be very hard to believe I am actually a pretty prolific employee. Do I work a lot of hrs, not really? Do I even care about my job, not one bit? How am I able to be so productive you might ask? The answer is short busts of super efficiency brought on by my self imposed lenient work schedule. If I know I am going to be playing golf Tuesday morning and taking Friday off there is built in incentive to get as much done as possible when I’m at my desk. I really don’t consider myself lazy; a lazy person just doesn’t do anything. I am always doing something (fly fishing, hiking, or watching videos of girls having sex with horses at my favorite website Beasttube.com), the fact that I chose to do all my work related activities in a shorter span of time just means I am efficient. Efficiency should be rewarded not destroyed by standard mandatory hourly work schedules. I have worked 60 hrs in week a time or two and I have also had my share of 25 hr work weeks and to be honest I got just about the same amount done.

What is my point you might ask, I think it is pretty clear I probably don’t have one in this case. Just stop showing up for work on Friday and see if your life doesn’t take a strong turn for the better. And by better of course I mean you will be immediately fired and free to fully enjoy Beasttube.com 24 hrs a day!!!